The Bad Fanfic of the Day

Janice Porter isn't a popular character.

2009-02-16T03:19:00Z

But no images on a Google search? The hell?

Title:Happy Birthday to Me (I'm not very happy.)

Perpetrator: Raksha-Neko-666

Series:Gravitation

Summary:Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me ...this is going a disater I know it Then why must you inflict it on the rest of us?

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:horrible spelling and grammar, FUCKING GARY STU...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. This garbled English is so bad that this fic is rendered almost incomprehensible. Check it out:

I sat there felling a little wierd cuz ,being my birthday, I was hopeing to spend it with Yuki. Alone. Not expecting Hiro to have put together a party at a kareoky bar. And I certinly didn't expect him to invite Tohma and Mika and for them to actualy show up.

Teachers the world over hang their heads in shame.

2. His name is Jazz and apparently he's Shuichi's older brother. Jazz? JAZZ? I'm reminded of a particularly awful drag queen but that could be the RuPaul's Drag Race episode I just saw. At any rate, he's clearly the relative stu we have all grown to hate and he will shortly cause shenanigans and misunderstandings between Yuki and the gang. That isn't to say that they're acting remotely like the canon. The novelist is acting like a psychotically jealous boyfriend while everyone else is as animated as a backdrop. I'm not exactly impressed.

Notes:You know you gotta work.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4852010/1/Happy_Birthday_to_Me

Sample:

"Shindo-san I wasen't aware the you had any other siblings other than your sister Maiko" Tohma says, clearly, in his mind, this is an oppertunity for him try and make Yuki hate me for keeping something from him.
"Oh, I'm only his Bro by a tecnicality, you see little Shu-chan here was..."
"JAZZ STOP RIGHT THERE!" I yell cutting him off, but also gaining the attention of eveyone at the table even more than what was already there.
" Let him finnish Shindo-san, I'm sure all of us want to hear this" Tohma says with a smirk.expecailly Eiri.
I glare at him. Oh how I want to wipe that smirk off his smug little face.
I look at Yuki "Um...can i talk to you in privite Yuki?"
"Sure brat but I want to know what the fuck is going on"
But befor we could get up Jazz just has to open his fucking mouth.
"Ahh, my itty bitty half brother is a wittle queer, hey it's 'Yuki' right? so how dose it feel to fuck a basterd love child who's only real use is a quik fuck?"
Thats when Yuki snapd, yeah it only been recently that he's been sticking up for me, but thats only against Tohma, but I wasn't expecting him to punch Jazz. I mean maybe a glare or just ignoring him but to punch him... I wasnt' expecting that.

Leaving a spam message doesn't make me want your product.

2009-02-12T21:59:29Z

It just makes me angry.

Title:50 Inuyasha stories in ten words or less

Perpetrator:chaini

Series:Inu Yasha

Summary:The title says it all. this story is a copulation of super micro fiction and maybe even a few jokes. translation lots of humor not a lot of intelligence lol but still fun. Enjoy. Rated t for some suggestiveness. I don't think I really want to see micro fiction copulate.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:WTF?

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. What I'm seeing here is a rather large list of a bunch of badfic plots, many of them having been done at least a million times and rife with cliches. No ficcer, you actually have to WRITE one of these plots fully before you post it, otherwise you're just giving us a list and nothing more. I know I've said this before but apparently I'll have to again, A LIST IS NOT A FIC. No one cares about the shitty plots you're developing, and no one cares about how you need to feed your plot bunnies, either post a proper fic or GTFO.

Notes:Exasperation. Your name is me.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4857129/1/50_Inuyasha_stories_in_ten_words_or_less

Sample:

1. Kiko died a painful death today. Kagome was thrilled.

2. Inuyasha was sleeping. Shippo yelled sit. Death followed shortly.

3. One hanyou, one girl, one box of chocolates. They did not work out.

4. One well, one girl, one demon. Destiny

5. Looking out upon the empty battle field, Inuyasha wept.

6. “Sit boy!” Thump

7. “half-breed.” the youth shouted leaving the small boy in tears

8. In a small cave, a boy huddles from the cold, dreaming of not being alone

9. “Pervert.” Slap

10. Kagome stares at the unconscious boy, “ All I said was vet.”

11. Swirling winds consumed everything, everything but her heartache.

12. One swimsuit, one monk, death shortly followed

13. Patients Name: Miroku diagnosis: Nymphomania Treatment: Jaken naked

14. One boy one girl one faithful arrow. A grand adventure begins.

15. “So how did you guys defeat Naraku?” “Giant Flyswatter”

16. Definition: Blindness-one monk one demon-slayer and one can of mace

17. Kilalla + peanut butter. Entertainment for the whole evening.

18. One day the well stopped working. That day two souls died.

19. One remark + One hanyou = one painful ride

20. Kagome stares at the unconscious boy, “ All I said was bath.”

At least I'm getting something done.

2009-02-12T21:44:06Z

Though admittedly, it isn't much.

Title:Busted (That you are ficcer, that you are.)

Perpetrator: uleanblue

Series:V for Vendetta

Summary:Evey makes an unexpected discovery in V's kitchen. Someone get me a subway full of explosives and a map to this ficcer's house. *HEADDESK*

Rating:UBER TOXIC

Offences:OOC...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Let me start off by saying that I know that drugs played a prominent part in the graphic novel (and got really shafted when it came to the movie), but all the same I don't see an excuse for this. Evey goes to the fridge one day to find it empty and the implication is that V smoked pot, got the munchies, and ate all the food. No. V was a little too focused on his mission for this kind of shenanigan, nor do I think he would try to excuse it in this way. If he did smoke pot, he would tell her the truth and then make no qualms about it. He lies only when it's important and this really isn't one of those times. I admit this fic isn't as nuclear as it could be but it does something that really pisses me off when talking about this fandom. V walks a line between humanity and the immortality of being an idea. Though he is just a man and we are meant to see him as such at times, he should never be petty, and pointless submitting to base motivations that degrade him. He is meant to be enigmatic both as a man and as something more and turning him into a giggling pot smoker just makes God kill kittens.

Notes:How is it not even five o'clock?

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4837949/1/Busted

Sample:

V spread his hands in a gesture that was part conciliatory, part explanatory. "I expend extraordinary amounts of energy in my work, therefore I require equivalent nourishment."
Evey thought she detected the barest hint of indignation in his usually unflappable facade, and fought to suppress the sudden laughter that threatened to erupt.
"Actually, I find it extraordinary that you'd even be capable of hoisting yourself off the couch after a binge like that."
V clapped his hand to his chest. "Evey, you wound me. Besides, it wasn't a binge." There was a definite edge in his tone now.
Evey pressed on, the combination of hunger and her irritation at him making her bold. "You know, come to think of it, I don't remember you going out last night at all. And there was a funny smell in the Gallery." She crossed her arms over her chest and waited.
V's hand dropped back to his side, but he remained silent.
"Were you burning incense?"
There was a long pause. "Perhaps."

A kick in the head.

2009-02-12T21:28:35Z

Pass it around.

Title:The Personification of Sleeplessness (Hello, pretentious title, and how are you today?)

Perpetrator: mistress amethyst une

Series:Gundam Wing

Summary:Stay," she commanded as he began to rise. "Heero, I'm not a whore, and I'm not your mistress. I'm your girlfriend, and you will sleep with me. When I say sleep, I mean sleep. Lie down!" T for innuendo and implied sexual themes. This is just going to be one more trip around the badfic merry-go-round.

Rating:AWFUL

Offences:OOC, this fic is just BLAH...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Like many ficcers that came before them, this author decided to explore a fluffy relationship between Relena and Heero, and in the process making the boy into a big lump of awkward OOC. He acts like a 12 year old boy with a hard on and a lack of confidence. Making lots of excuses as to why he doesn't want to spend the night over at Relena's, he sneaks around a ton before finally coming out with the fact that he just becomes too excited to sleep when he thinks about spending time with her. How KUTE!11!, too bad it's not Heero. He doesn't do the whole awkward boy thing. He'd just excuse himself without making a production of it or not profer an explanation at all. The fluffy garbage at the end, concluding with fluffy sex is just the icing on the OOC cake. As for Relena, she's not much better. I don't think she's the type to obsess about sex, even when it does come to Heero.

2. The plot is basically what I've already told you and it's not that impressive. It's too fluffy to suit at least one of these two characters and would probably make a fairy puke. Interesting? No, not in any way.

Notes:At work and bored out of my mind.

Link:To read the while fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4846295/1/The_Personification_of_Sleeplessness

Sample:

Looking resigned, he cupped her cheek. "You know how you can't sleep the night before an event you're really looking forward to? When I was starting out, that was how I felt almost every night I knew I was going to go on assignment to protect you, every night I knew that the morning would bring a day I'd get to spend with you. It took me months to get used to it. Why do you think I wore stupid shades all the time? Needed to hide the eyebags, needed to get a few power naps in while you were in those boring meetings. And, before you ask, yes, I have mastered the art of sleeping standing up."

She couldn't stifle her giggles any longer. "Aww..."

"Don't 'aww' me."

"Has anyone ever told you you're cute when your pride is hurt?"

"None of them ever lived long enough to," he fumed.

"Your threats don't work on me, idiot."

"Worth a shot."

"So...excitement? That's your reason?"

Don't wait up, I won't be coming home.

2009-02-11T01:43:26Z

This is how it feels to be dead.

Title:Starving away the pain 2 (The fact that there's another one of these scares me.)

Perpetrator: jewish4eva

Series:South Park

Summary:Just after everyone though Kyle was over his parants death Stan says somthing that upsets him so he stops eating again Stan feels really bad about this but only this time theres no Cartman to get in the way because hes in hospital after losing his memory. What? He's upset over a pair of ants? *SNICKER* I know that was bad, but seriously when I saw that typo I couldn't help it.

Rating:TOXIC

Offences:horrible grammar, this plot BLOWS...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Right from the get go it's obvious that this ficcer has no idea how to use the Pit since we're reading the second chapter posted as a new story. Already with that strike against them, this piece of crap just keeps on giving. The punctuation is nearly nonexistent and the wooden dialogue isn't exactly fun to read.

2. So Kyle has lost his mother and developed an eating disorder (anorexia nervosa purging type). Living with Stan now, Kyle is struggling with his illness when Stan rails on him for it in retaliation for something Kyle said about Mrs. Marsh, blah, blah, blah, tears and purging, blah, blah. I'm having a hard time with this fluffy after school special melodrama. They tackled this issue and added nothing new or poignant to it, and it seems to me that they think adding some crying means that I'll TOTALLY take this as a serious, poignant piece of work. Plus there's fresh out of the box self loathing. *sigh* There's basically no description and nothing to impress me. End of story.

Notes:Yeah, I didn't have to read the first chapter to pass judgement here for obvious reasons.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4849711/1/Starving_away_the_pain_2

Sample:

“Your mother's dead Stan?” Cartman asked me with sympathy (something he'd never done before)

“I'm not a fucking Jew that's Kyle” Stan said pointing at me. This hurt Stan had never said anything against my religion before so I decided to use a bit of Cartman talk myself.

“Fuck you Hippy” I replied

“Boys stop it” Sharon said to both of us.

“Dickhead” Stan whispered to me. I've never seen Stan look so mad at me before. I was about to say sorry but Stan spoke first. “Just leave me alone you anorexic piece of shit” He hissed.

“Stan! I've tried really hard to put on more weight these past couple of months” I said hurt. Stan just sniggered at me.

“Yeah looks like it” He snarled at me as he looked me up and down I knew he he meant my to flat stomach my pale skin and the occasional dark circles under my eyes. I had put on a LOT of weight recently but I was still thin. Its not fair why does everyone hate me?

It's one of the best things I've come across in awhile.

2009-02-07T02:46:13Z

As such I am EXCEEDINGLY PISSED that the ficcers have killed it.

Title:V's secert (*BRAIN EXPLODES*)

Perpetrator: racerofthe3

Series:V for Vendetta

Summary:this is the secert life of v with evey and what he learns in a year with being with her. Does he learn that no fandom is safe?

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:horrible grammar and spelling, WTF?

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. The writing is so bad it's barely understandable guys. But incoherence can sometimes equal HILARITY. Check it out:

“No.” I said in a clam voice as I started to pull the level of course it was to blow up Big Ben I haven’t been more happier they can’t control us what time to go to sleep what time to wake up what time to even go home to stay inside cause I hate that to send V to his death train but that was what he wanted.

What? WHAT? There are so many things wrong with that. For starters, what exactly is a clam voice? Do clam's have voices?

2. So this fic is based on the movie (or at least it is from what I can tell), and boy, does it make me want to punch babies. Evey is pregnant and angsting over V's death in as cliched of a fashion as humanly possible. Pregnant? Seriously? I know that the movie inserted a lot of unecessary romance, but it didn't go this far. They share a rather awkward kiss and that's about as far as it goes. V loves Evey but not in a sexual way, the relationship goes deeper than that. He is a lot of different people to Evey and she is a mixture of people to him. I would peg this as more of a protege bond. But of course, the ficcer feels the need to insert undescribed sex and debase everything they can. *sigh* I'm sorry V, but though ideas cannot die, they can be horribly mangled.

Notes:Done for tonight.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4753429/1/Vs_secert

Sample:

V had a chance to choose between the end and me but I had two secrets I would love to tell him.

“V I love you and I am pregnant.” I Said

V to what I thought was died of his wounds .The same wounds Creedy give him. A sheet of melt could not protect his organs to bad he could not have gotten to know me more.

What I thought a year would teach them about each one looking for one self the other looking for a mark on this world. I then took him on the train and put scarlet roses around him my love of my life .But how do ones find the strength to go on with the mission that one started.

If you have the dope in your hands, I think they're going to haul you in.

2009-02-07T01:55:38Z

This is not your lucky day.

Title:My Inuyasha Adventure (*GAG*)

Perpetrator: edwardElricAddict

Series:Inu Yasha

Summary:This is a story about an OC who gets stucked into the Feudal era. She is slowly turning into something, care to find out what? No, because I have a feeling it involves a whole new level of suedom.

Rating:UBER TOXIC

Offences:FUCKING MARY SUE, I have no idea what the fuck is going on...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Her name is Sarabashii, and with her silver hair and black eyes I'm wondering if she also comes with a mirror and hangs around Naraku (ORIGINALITY PTS!111!) but no, actually she's a very sick girl who swallows a jewel shard in an attempt to prolong her wretched existence. As you may have guessed she somehow ends up in the Feudal era to be fawned over by Inu Yasha and company. She'll end up with the hanyou after almost dying and blah, blah, blah. I'm not exactly impressed, especially when the fic involves a ton of cardboard characterization and a writing style that leaves me in a whirl of confusion. There's some kind of orb trying to eat her and her arm is turning black. Anyone else reminded of a wicked case of gangrene? Plus all the screaming and suddenly violent outbursts on the sue's part get real old, real fast.

Notes:Seriously man, they KNOW it's yours.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4843614/1/My_Inuyasha_Adventure

Sample:

I batted my long brown eyelashes, as the rain poured down outside my window. I sighed and looked around the large empty house. I was lonely, so very, very, very lonely. The house had been empty since my aunt and left on their business trip. I was surprised that they left me here alone… trusting me to not burn down the house.
My black eyes scanned the dining room, making sure that I was really alone. Ever since that little pink shard got into my pocket somehow, I was starting to hear noises. I coughed, and sighed.
“Arg, why won’t this annoying cough GO AWAY! AHHH!” I yelled. I slammed my hands on the table in frustration. I was very sickly, and had to be homeschooled. Yelling so loudly caused my throat to hurt, and I clinched it in pain.
“Swallow the shard…” I heard a voice whisper. I blinked a few times.
“H-hello? Is there anybody here?” I whispered. No response.
‘Oh, boy! Guess what, Sarabashii? You’re making friends with… AIR!’ I thought.
“Swallow it whole…” I heard the voice again.
“Wow, I’ve really lost my mind… Go away little… air… friend…” I mumbled, standing up from the chair.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2009-02-07T01:37:50Z

Too bad it's another six weeks of winter.

Title:Golden Child

Perpetrator:Gundam Pilot Peng

Series:Gundam Wing

Summary:Ever wondered what would happen if you ended in a book and the only way out was to finish it from the inside out? 1x2, 3x4 rated m for later chapters Honestly this plot has crossed maybe 3948230948 ficcers minds just in the course of my sporking career. Please play again.

Rating:TOXIC

Offences:this writing could be less painful, this plot blows...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. With some hilarious, atmosphere wrecking typos and a whole mess of awkward sentences I find it very difficult to take this fic seriously. Don't believe me? Read for yourself:

Shaking his head before he turned the page so he could start reading before he suddenly felt a wing.

They meant 'wind'. Oh, what a difference one letter can make. All I'm picturing is a single wing floating eerily through an open window in some kind of trippy surreal art film. Yes, I think staying up late last night reading Animal Man may have been a bad idea.

2. Do I have to tell you that this plot is cliche? Getting caught in a book is one of the oldest plots I've seen and the subject of countless movies and books. Making the hapless victim Duo and, I'd assume, the Gundam Wing universe as the book really fails to impress me. Let's face it, even if the book weren't just the Gundam Wing continuity the subpar writing would kill any attempt at a story dead before it could even stand up.

Notes:Cops and cats. Doesn't get much better than this.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4836807/1/Golden_Child

Sample:

A small hum filled a local book store on a rainy and cloudy mid-day afternoon, no it wasn't one of the employees, in fact it had been the owners son. He helped the store out once in a while and in return he got to take a book home. Chestnut colored hair fell against his face as he proceeded to empty out one of the shipment boxes. Most of the books had been the same till he got towards the bottom of the box. Amethyst colored eyes blinked a bit before checking the box then the shipping log. Odd why would anyone ship a book and only one book. Standing up a bit as he moved over to a computer to check the logs there, and he got a rather big surprise. Not only was there no record of the book there was no record of the author either. Holding up the book he called out, "Hay, Phil, can I have this book?" A distant groan caught his ears which he guessed was a yes as he placed the book by his things. A book that was not on file, this was something he had to read. It meant that he was holding the only known book.

And so begins the first cold of the year.

2009-02-04T01:44:37Z

I can't say I'm that excited.

Title:Where Are We? (You should really know what.)

Perpetrator:Rainbow-Angel-Of-Doom (*GAG*)

Series:South Park

Summary:The South Park Boys go To Super Happy Fun Shine Camp, but things didn't turn out as planed. some people are going missing. STyle BUnny CReek and other side pairings. Rainbow xoxo Somebody please kill me.

Rating:UBER TOXIC

Offences:this writing and plot do not impress me or in fact, even REMOTELY interest me.

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. So Stan and the gang, who are now, I'm assuming, teenagers, are headed off to summer camp where they are about to discover a lot about themselves. This is written like VCR instructions and the minimum amount of description. Moving at a snail's pace the fic just recycles old fandom cliches and uses them as a crutch to prop up the cardboard characterization. To sum it all up, I'm bored and I doubt that's going to change. Summer camp is not an original plot and if you're not going to put in more effort than this I don't see anything good heading our way in the future.

Notes:At least I have more time to study now.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4829968/1/Where_Are_Wer

Sample:

It was a beautiful day at South Park... in other words the snow was so thick you couldn't see your hand in from of your face and no-one was game enough to leave the house. That why I was on the phone to my super best friend, Kyle Broflovski. Kyle has best my best friend since like kindergarten and my Super best friend since 4th grade. We were going to some camp thing tomorrow with Kenny McComrick, Eric Cartman, Butters Scotch, Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, Token Black, Clyde Donivan, and some other people I don't know.

"Stan! Are you even paying attention to me?"

"Yeah, Yeah. Sorry"

"I said do you think we're still going to that camp tomorrow?"

"Well, probably, dude, cause our parents already paid"

"Yeah."

"Stan, Get off the phone now, we're having dinner now" mom shouted from downstairs.

"Sorry man, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess"

"Ok, Bye dude."

I don't really wanna go to camp tomorrow, but it won’t be that bad, Kyle's gonna be there... and our other friends... of course.

"Stan, are you going to have beans?"

"No."

"Are you ready to go to camp tomorrow?" dad asked me.

"No"

"Have you packed yet?"

"No"

"Can't you-" he was cut off by the phone ringing.

"Stan, get the phone" It's always 'Stan do this', 'Stan get this', 'Stan are you...', 'Stan can you...', 'Stan will you...'.

Now I have to try to think of a gameplan.

2009-02-02T02:17:57Z

It may sound simple but it's not.

Title:Suggestions for a new author (Just when you thought it was over.)

Perpetrator:mattskitten

Series:Inu Yasha (In a manner of speaking.)

Summary:Just a note asking for suggestions or requests. More details inside . Unless you have a story in there you need to GTFO.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:How many times do I have to stumble across these idiots?

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. The Pit's story section is where you post fics. It's not a particularly difficult concept, nor should anyone struggle to understand it. However this author has decided that they don't need to learn the TOS to inflict their stupidity on the fic reading public. OMG WHAT SHOULD I WRIT ABOUT!!11!?? You know what you should write about? How to lurk and do some fucking RESEARCH before you just throw yourself in there. I don't care how new you are or how eager, it doesn't take much effort to learn how to use a website and its ins and outs. Additionally, I would hope you have a plan for a story or at least enough of one that you don't ask which fucking fandom you should write in. But if you do find yourself in such a situation and need to discuss then confine yourself to the FORUMS and quit spamming the story section. </rage>

Notes:This night just goes on and on.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4834296/1/Suggestions_for_a_new_author

Sample:

Hi readers(soon to be readers I should say), you guys don't know me because I'm new to fan-fiction as an author, but I've been reading stories from fan-fiction for a long time now and finally decided to go ahead and write my own. ^.^ However, I am in need of some ideas D=. So if any readers out there want to give me some ideas or requests, I would appreciate it very much. And not to worry, I won't take full credit for ideas or requests , as you will be mentioned at the beginning and end of the story you have requested or suggested ideas for. Thank you for reading my note and for possibly helping me with stories. =]

Last one of the night.

2009-02-01T03:21:59Z

And it couldn't come too soon.

Title:Dracula Re Done (Kill me now.)

Perpetrator: BondSlave

Series:Hellsing

Summary:I decide to let my evil creativity loose for an evening and this fic is born. The Hellsing characters must re do the Bram Stoker Dracula movie! Evil smirk So, Rated M just to be safe. We all wish you'd had an abortion when it comes to this piece of crap.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:I'm not quite sure what this is yet, but I'm not very hopeful.

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. This is either a very long intro or a very horrible self insert but either way the sins are the same. Written entirely in script format and displaying no attempts at characterization and every attempt to make us believe that we're actually dealing with a good *SNICKER* author, this piece of work is just an example of someone trying to convince us that this will be funny. No, I really don't think Dracula using Hellsing characters will be hilarious or original. I also don't think listening to you supposedly talking to members of the canon is remotely interesting.

Notes:Just some more from the sea of fail.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4825752/1/Dracula_Re_Done

Sample:
BondSlave: Gary Oldmen is a respectable actor! He is by far not a half wit, didn't you watch Harry Potter 3? Or Batman Begins or The Dark Knight? Any way…you have no say in the matter, here is the cast. Dracula will of course be Alucard, that is just a given. Mina is Integra. She glared at me. The good Dr. Abraham, Alucard snorted. Will be played by Walter. Pip, you will be Quincy. I was thinking of having Maxwell be Dr. Sewerd but I'd much rather have him be Randfield. Anderson, you will instead be Dr. Sewerd. Seras you will be good old Lucy. Luke, you will be Arthur. Jan you will be the Turk Soldier and Captain of the ship. They all looked at me blankly causing me to smile.
BondSlave: And seeing as you have no choice, I will begin production of this crack fic tomorrow. You will be well aware of my publishing the first chapter, I expect Integra, Walter, Alucard and Seras to be there to leave comments. Good evening. Stands and head to bed.
Alucard: To think I held some respect for you.

Hope you make a lot of good friends out there.

2009-02-01T02:50:15Z

Because you can't come back.

Title:Shuchi's Dark Secret (One of many the ficcers have bestowed upon him.)

Perpetrator:Elven Princess Midnight

Series:Gravitation

Summary:Shuchi and Yuki have been dating for two years and Yuki still hasn't told Shuchi he loves him. Shuchi throws a tizzy fit and comes back home later on to tell Yuki something about his past. It's not really supernatural because Shuichi isn't really a vamp. Because vampires will make this all better. *GAG*

Rating:UBER TOXIC

Offences:FUCKING MARY SUE, this plot blows...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Her name is Tama and she's apparently 'Goth' but other than that we don't know much about her. Apparently she knows Shuichi's darkest secret, which I'm guessing has something to do with vampires or other cliched crap. She's just here to add to the scenery for all the personality she's given. As for the rest of the plot, likewise it isn't impressive. Yuki is a bastard and fails to tell his lover that he loves him, Shuichi gets upset, blah, blah, there's a totally bad twist that is so cliche it isn't a twist, blah, blah, BLAH. OMG HE HAS A SEKRET!!!11! is not a great plot unless you plan to do something original with it. I see no evidence of any such plan.

Notes:I find myself repeatedly unimpressed.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4831098/1/Shuchis_Dark_Secret

Sample:Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) the chapters are way too short for a sample. Seriously I would end up giving you guys a sentence and that's just useless, so click the link if you want to read the horror firsthand.

I still have so far to go.

2009-02-01T02:27:08Z

I think right now I'd be willing to hear the Anti-Life equation.

Title:Read if you want to be in an OC fic (OH NO. A MARY SUE FACTORY!)

Perpetrator: Lil' Lolita

Series:South Park

Summary:...The title says it all. Don't read if you just want to report it for being a notice, cos no one cares, and if that's all you 're on FF for, then you're just sadder then me. I don't think it's possible to be more pathetic than a suethor posing as a writer.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:This is NOT a fic.

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Somebody failed to read the TOS and this is what we get. Apparently this ficcer was reported before for a similiar shenanigan and decided to stick it to the person that reported her by giving us this bullshit. She offers to put our OCs into a South Park fic. Right...Sounds a ton like quizilla to me. Look ficcer, sues are not fun and all you're doing here is advertising for more of them, nearly the equivalent of fishing for story ideas. You want to pull this crap do so on the forums, because this is definitely not a fucking story.

Notes:So many to do and so little time.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4824632/1/Read_if_you_want_to_be_in_an_OC_fic

Sample:I'm not going to include a sample since this isn't a fic so much as an instructional guide to how to write a badfic. See the trainwreck for yourselves by clicking the link.

Welcome to the failure couch.

2009-01-30T02:47:34Z

No disappointed parents allowed.

Title:Inuyasha Uses Pick Up Lines! (*GAG*)

Perpetrator: Chinese Miko

Series:Inu Yasha

Summary:The title says it all. Please read and tell me what you think. If you have suggestions on how I can fix it, please tell me! I will tell you but I doubt you'll like it.

Rating:TOXIC

Offences:this writing has problems, this plot is less than awe inspiring...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. The writing is very stilted, very awkward, and horribly monotonous. Seriously, sentence structures can be varied, ficcer, and you know what, it isn't HARD. That aside, the fic is basically sketchy and rather bland in terms of detail and flow. Check it out:

It has been three days since Inuyasha and Kagome had been back to modern Japan. Inuyasha was bored to death. He played with Buyo but then the cat scratched him so he decided that playing with the cat wasn’t a good idea after all.

Wake me when it's over.

2. Now before I get into the plot details, we have to address the characterization issues first. Inu Yasha may be naive and he may be slightly inept when it comes to social skills, but no, he's not absolutely and hopelessly stupid as this fic makes him out to be. I really doubt he'd study pick up lines from a movie and then apply it to Kagome as robotically as possible. (Though this is when I insert the disclaimer that if he does at some point later watch some TV and use it later in the series I do apologise, I'm a bit behind in this one.) That aside, this plot is just another slight tweaked chick flick rehash and I'm not that impressed. The good old 'guy out of place tries to be cute but fails and then is cute anyway' is not a unique one.

Notes:I am so sick of participant emails.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4827080/1/Inuyasha_Uses_Pick_Up_Lines

Sample:

It has been three days since Inuyasha and Kagome had been back to modern Japan. Inuyasha was bored to death. He played with Buyo but then the cat scratched him so he decided that playing with the cat wasn’t a good idea after all. After the second day, Inuyasha decided to turn on the TV. It didn’t have anything that could satisfy his boredom but it was better than having nothing to do. He flipped to a channel just as the boy of the movie started using pathetic lines to try and win a girl over. Inuyasha thought that that was the norm of this era and paid attention closely.
TWO DAYS LATER
After getting out of the well, Inuyasha and Kagome breathed in a breath of fresh air. Inuyasha, instead of leading them to Kaede’s village, went the opposite direction and stopped at a clearing.
“Inuyasha, what is it?”
“I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today, and your name was included.” He said randomly.
Kagome looked at him and blinked. She blinked again and one last time to make sure she heard him correctly. “Do you even know what a thesaurus is?”

But you brought home treasures.

2009-01-28T02:35:28Z

The cat really likes groceries.

Title:1wisdom (Sounds more like an msn name than a fic title.)

Perpetrator: henticotaku

Series:300 by Frank Miller (Or at least it's SUPPOSED to be.)

Summary:scandal Right...

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:WTF?

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. It may be in the 300 section and it may say it's a 300 fic but you open it up and it's all nonsense and stuff about high school kids. WTF? Can you not READ THE CATEGORY TITLE? You can't just post whatever you want wherever you want. There is a system to the Pit, and the expectation is that you respect it and not bombard innnocent bystanders with this crap. Either follow the rules or GTFO.

Notes:Unfortunately tomorrow means lots of participants.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4706724/1/1wisdom

Sample:

Mangoes? You…you saw my…aaargh! Pervert!

I’m not a pervert. You let me see it.

I’ll never let anyone see my panty. Especially a pervert like you!

Idiot! If you were careful, you wouldn’t fall.

You tripped me!

No, I didn’t. You tripped yourself.

Aaaaargh! I hate you Matthew!

I know you're upset but you knew him for like an HOUR.

2009-01-28T01:41:09Z

You're about to blow your audtion for a pretty stupid reason.

Title:UPDATED Ichabod Crane (Not that the non-updated one was much better.)

Perpetrator: JDLuvaSQEE (*BARF*)

Series:Sleepy Hollow

Summary:A poem describing... CONSTABLE ICHABOD CRANE! SQEE! Someone please shoot me in the face.

Rating:TOXIC

Offences:This is basically just fangirl squeeing that happens to be in the form of bad poetry. It's not really a fic and I'm not really impressed.

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. So normally I don't touch poetry with a 39 and a half foot pole but for this particular fic I think I need to make an exception. As you may have guessed this poem is all about Ichabod Crane (the Johnny Depp version of course) and how hot he is. Blah, blah, OMG HOT!!!1, blah. *sigh* This adds nothing to the world of fanfic other than yet another ode to an actor that has the affection of many prepubescent girls. As much as I like Depp, I don't like the scourge he has unleashed upon fic readers everywhere. Seriously, someone gushing about how beautiful some character is in such a shallow, cliched, and unsubstantial fashion doesn't really make a decent fic. It just makes for boredom, lots and LOTS of boredom.

Notes:Auditions are the only things worth watching. By the way, I probably would have let this one slide, BUT they posted both an old and updated version of this fic on the Pit in clost proximity. I could not let such spam go unpunished.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4819763/1/UPDATED_Ichabod_Crane

Sample:Once again this fic is too short, so you're on your own.

It was bad, but OMG 3D!

2009-01-27T03:35:35Z

I'm a pretty big sucker.

Title:Stuff (What an awe inspiring title.)

Perpetrator: XxSayuyaxX

Series:Inu Yasha

Summary:It's just a little thing so I can be a beta reader. This alone tells me you should really NOT be anywhere near the post of beta reader.

Rating:AWFUL

Offences:this is just...blah.

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. When they said this was a little thing they really meant it. It's literally just a smattering of sentences about Kagome finding Inu Yasha cheating on her, blah, blah, blah, wangst, blah, *insert a ton of cliches*, and call it a day. This slightly redundant and unoriginal fic has nothing new and seems like exactly what they say it is. A thing they put out there just so that they can be a reader. No, that isn't why you write fics and post them my deluded friend. Even if you dug up something to post and use, you should at least do us the courtesy of looking it over and making it decent. This is far from decent; it's a bad drabble. The verdict? You probably shouldn't give others advice until you get some more experience.

Notes:I don't want to go to school, I just need a pickaxe and a convenient mine. Oh, and a box of chocolates with a heart in it.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4820429/1/Stuff

Sample:This fic is WAY too short for a sample, so again I leave you to your fate.

WTF? CRAZY QUILT?

2009-01-26T03:15:49Z

Just when you think you've heard them all.

Title:THE FURRY COLLAR! (I don't even want to ask.)

Perpetrator: skwisgaar skisgelf

Series:Gravitation

Summary:HIROSHI X SHUICHI FANFIC! SCARY GRAVITATION STORY! You know, using capslock only makes me lose respect for you.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:horrible spelling and grammar, this plot leaves a lot to be desired...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Sometimes I wonder just who the hell teaches people like this to write:

it was during christmas vacation last year when hiroshi asked me to stay at his house he lived in a big gloomy house set way back from the road and he didn't want there alone his parents had gone to visit some friends and wouldn't be back untill the next day he said we could have a really good time without his parents around.

That was one HELL of a run on. Being barely comprehensible at times and utterly monotonous doesn't make this fic a joy to read.

2. So Shuichi and Hiro are having fun at the latter's empty house when OMG THERE'S A NOISE!!1!! In the oldest plot known to man, the boys ignore the sound until it's too late and then the guitarist loses his head. *HEADDESK* That wasn't terrifying, unless you mean terrifyingly awful. The bad grammar and this sub par, straight from an urban legend/cheesy horror movie plotting just kill it dead.

Notes:This is just a badly done horror. A VERY badly done horror flick.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4806081/1/THE_FURRY_COLLAR

Sample:

I sat in the dark,sick with fright.i called out hiroshi's name;but my voice was answered by silence.i didn't want to stay in the dark room alone,but even more i didn't want to go out into that other ! I heard it again,that disgusting sound.

Then i heard hiroshi's footsteps,moving down the next and final flight of stairs he went more slowly than before i didn't hear him reach the bottom of the stairs.

I got up and started towards the door to turn the light on but something yanked me and pulled me back i didn't see a hand but there sure as hell was claw marks on my rist when that whatever it is let go of me!

THEN I HEARD A SLOW SHUFFLING SOUND AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STEPS!

was it hiroshi?it had to be yet the footsteps seemed too heavy!i shook with terror.

Then suddenly i knew what i would do his new nightrobe with the furry collar!i would wait untill the door opened and touch the persons neck!

soon the doorknob turned,i braced myself as the door creaked silently!

My fingers closed around hiro's furry collar!'thank god!'' i thought then i reached up for a face.....

I FOUND THAT THERE WAS ONLY THE BLOODY STUMP WHERE HIROSHI'S HEAD HAD BEEN!

For such a professional, you aren't a ton of help.

2009-01-25T03:01:19Z

You should be able to actually PREVENT something.

Title:the day the clown came to town (Poor Joker, ever since TDK he's been taking it in the teeth in terms of badfic.)

Perpetrator: Ruffis Pennyhill

Series:Batman

Summary:Only brief time after the jokers anarchy was brought to Gotham - the Dark Knight faces the torment of the laughing lunatic that had cast a shadow over the hope and good of Gotham, how could he be BACK? and who was Harleen Quinnly? hostage or helper? WTF? Harley's correct name would be a start for you ficcer. Seriously, research is your friend if treading on unfamiliar ground.

Rating:TOXIC

Offences:lots of spelling and grammar mistakes, this plot BLOWS...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Someone really needs to tell this ficcer how to use commas because it kind of looks like they just threw them randomly into the fic. Also, their typos make me laugh:

Watch them punish at your expense, he seemed to speak drawly, not hiding a smile; never hiding a smile.

Yeah, that was supposed to be dramatic but nope, I'm still laughing. All in all I found this fic really difficult to understand at times because of all the confusing, jumbled phrasing, smattering of cliched phrases, and just prose that really didn't seem to fit. I feel almost like I'm reading 20 fics rolled into one, and it makes the thing seem directionless.

2. So Batman is angsting about his life after the Joker is taken to Arkham (or at least that's what I'll assume since this is set just after the events of The Dark Knight), and doing so in a cliched, wangsty fashion. Gordon interrupts this wangst to reveal that the Joker has escaped and now has Harley Quinn in tow (well, okay she's still Quinzel at the moment but we all know where this is going). *SIGH* This isn't the most original idea, with every tween out there seeking to create a TDK version of the sidekick in fic or otherwise. That is just one of many things wrong with this picture, the biggest thing being Batman in general. He may blame himself for a lot of things but usually not so illogically and with such an irrational thought chain. I read this and I'm going 'What? What are you saying?' and read the stuff three times and STILL have no clue what he's talking about. The verdict: FAIL.

Notes:Glob. Yes I feel like writing 'glob' in the notes today.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4792913/1/the_day_the_clown_came_to_town

Sample:

The Batman was only feet away now from its pale white surface that illuminated the sky – he could almost see the ghostly face of that smiling madman in its surface – but he turned quickly away as not to give Joker the advantage over his mind.

Commissioner Gordon had earned his hierarchy as commissioner during the previous madness and the Dark Knight couldn’t help to ponder the burden that lay upon Gordon every time someone read his title.

The time had dwindled little on Gordon except for the image that he had not slept in weeks and probably would continue this tradition a few more nights.

“I – I didn’t think for a second you would come, we - … you have a problem -.”

His voice was hard to think as soothing – its subtle confidence was not of one who held a gun.

“I came because I needed to come – to know that we have held strong since.

Why do we have to have a quiz tomorrow?

2009-01-23T03:17:36Z

Because team based learning SUCKS.

Title:Numbness Intro to chapter 1 (I think I can tell you one of their sins already.)

Perpetrator: Vincent-of-the-Night

Series:Inu Yasha

Summary:Sesshomaru feels nothing without his mate. RUN FOR THE HILL SESSHOUMARU!

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:horrible grammar, OOC, FUCKING MARY SUE...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Abusing ellipses is NEVER cool but it's ultra lame when you use them after every single fucking sentence. They do not add dramatic emphasis, ficcer, they just make you look like a moron.

2. So here is Sesshoumaru, though it's not really the youkai we know and love. No, he's just a wangsty tween boy who's got a hold of the cliche angsty phrase book for cardboard cut outs. He's lost his perfect mary sue and now he's so sad he cannot go on, blah, blah, blah. Seriously, stop turning this character into an angst muffin. He's stoic and lacks empathy, that does not make him your snuggle bunnykins. These fics are all the same and it's REALLY getting old. I'd tell you more guys, but they only thing we have is this hideous letter to his dead mate. I'm sure it isn't going anywhere good.

Notes:Almost done, but emails are calling.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4810981/1/Numbness_Intro_to_chapter_1

Sample:This is really too short for a sample so you'll have to brave the Pit yourselves.

And of course NOW I get sick.

2009-01-23T02:35:07Z

Because I don't have enough to do. *SIGH*

Title:Cartman and fevera (The superwoman who spreads fever wherever she goes! *SNICKER*)

Perpetrator:deadlylove189

Series:South Park

Summary:cartman fatass did it again but now can kyle recover from a kiss that his crush had seen. This really doesn't show a lot of promise.

Rating:UBER TOXIC

Offences:horrible grammar, this plot BLOWS...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Reading this fic is like wading through garbage. It's a grab bag of mistakes, confusion, awkward sentences and barely understandable phrasing. Honestly there are points where I had to read a sentence three times just to get what the fuck they were trying to say. Come on ficcer, English class is GOOD for you.

2. So everyone is South Park knows that Kyle is gay and no one has a problem with this but Cartman and Kyle's mother. Well one day this new kid comes along and Cartman decides to shove Kyle into the kid who makes out with him. This all happens in front of Stan, Kyle's secret crush, blah, blah, blah, Kyle gets a fever, Stan helps him, they confess their love, and then they fuck. Wow, how damn ORIGINAL that is. All of this, including Kyle's sexuality just come flying out of thin air. There's no development, no attempt at making this flow, it's one big barfed up story with little effort. I remain unimpressed.

Notes:Why is Kyle continually getting sick in these fics? It's it because of Cherokee Hair Tampons?

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4808321/1/Cartman_and_fevera

Sample:

Now most of the town knew he was gay, only his mother and Eric Cartman, a fat boy, who hate him because he was a Jew had a problem with it. “Stan” the normally calm boy whispered the name of his superbest friend and secret crush as he stripped away his orange shirt and jeans as he entered the bathroom.
Kyle knew he had a snow balls chance in hell to confess now. At the end of school the little Jew and his friends had went to make friends with the new kid, all of them knowing how hard it is when your sixteen at a new school.
He had started off great with the Jay not even caring about the carefully placed touches the new kid was giving him but Cartman did. Cartman had started yelling about “the Jew finally finding a lover” before pushing him face first in to the hazel eyed boy before him. Turns out Kyle wasn't the only gay kid as he felt a tongue shoved down his throat, he pushed Jay away noticing every one including Stan was now staring at him before the auburn haired boy took off running, cursing Cartman and unaware that someone was soon chasing after him.

Tomorrow I take on the world of brain and behaviour.

2009-01-21T02:44:13Z

Be afraid _setsuka_! Be VERY afraid of my SPAMMING AWESOMENESS!

Title:Spawn and SpiderMan team up (Oh god, NO.)

Perpetrator: The Scorcher

Series:Spawn

Summary:Spawm and Spider Man must team up to fight a pwerful enemy. Rated T For intense violence, and very small amount of language. Who the fuck is 'Spawm'?

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:horrible spelling and grammar, this plot BLOWS...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. This fic is basically a jumbled mess of awkward sentences, bad description, and writing so bad it's HILARIOUS. Here, I give you this little gem:

Spawn threw and grenade into the mouth of the demon soon as the flames stopped.

Yeah, I'm still laughing as we speak.

2. Okay, before I start in on this ficcer I must confess that I'm not sure whether or not there actually IS a comic where Spawn meets Spider-Man, (though I know he meets up with Batman) but even if there is this plot is still lame and still smells of a slapped together crossover. Spider-Man is chasing someone through Spawn's turf, and Al, not knowing who this hero is tries to detain him. They have a lame fight where Spider-Man somehow survives an axe (well Spawn's cape as an axe) to the chest and get in quite a few punches on the dead man, but that's not all. This is followed by another lame fight in which the two fight Venom and the Violator. The indication is that the pair of heros are now on their way to hell. I'm not impressed, especially with this sub par writing and rambling plot that leaks of random 'OMG YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE KEWL!!1!'.

Notes:Seriously I am STILL laughing at the fight sequences and Spawn's apparent hyperspace guns.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3105118/1/Spawn_and_SpiderMan_team_up

Sample:

Spider Man Kicked Spawn in chest knocking Spawn off him. Spider-Man began web slinging away. Spawn was angered and chains at spider man stopping spider man. Spawn then jumped and picked up Spider Man and asked who he was chasing. Spider Man did not respond and kicked punched spawn in the face. Spawn was angered and shape shifted his cape into an axe and swung it at Spider Man. Spider Man had a giant cut on his chest Spawn then punched Spider Man in the face. Spider Man was very weakened. Spawn then took a pistol from his belt and aimed at Spider Man.
“Stop..please this strange creature is...”
Spawn ran over and Spider Man fell to the ground. Spawn ran over and looked at the wounded body of Spider Man. Spawn knew he was not dead.
“Stop him quick he is...going to destroy earths inhabitants”

My hands are tied.

2009-01-20T02:40:25Z

I think that's probably the worst thing about this entire project.

Title:the lonely fallen angel

Perpetrator:arayth3darkpr1nc3ss (*HEADDESK*)

Series:Gundam Wing

Summary:the pilots meet a female who is as skilled as them. and one even falls for her. I somehow find myself skeptical.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:FUCKING MARY SUE, and a whole mess of other problems.

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. Her name is 'Cleisis Tinatkos' and she's the newest pilot on the team. She's pretty, Noin's niece and has her sights set on none other than Heero who is BARELY Heero in this fic. Yep, he's actually friendly and talkative. Did you watch the same show the rest of us did, ficcer? And you know what else? This sue has a MOTORCYCLE. OMG SHE IS SO ORIGNAL AND AWESOM!!11! Let me fetch my bucket.

2. This sue may be glaring but it's not like the writing is stellar. With little description and a bunch of very choppy sentences this thing reads like somethink stuck between a grocery list and VCR instructions. There's just so many levels of fail here, it's sad.

Notes:It's true that this fic is not very long at this point but I still see the classic sue and the classic bid to get into the canon's pants. My conclusion: EPIC FAIL.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4802857/1/the_lonely_fallen_angel

Sample:

Heero turned back to filling out his paperwork. After he finished he shut off his computer and grabbed his jacket. “Let’s go get a drink.” He looked at Cleisis. “Your welcome to come along.” “Thanks do you mind if we stop at my place so that I can change out of this uniform?” Heero looked at the other pilots and all but Wufei nodded. Heero looked at her and shrugged. She stood up and walked out of the room the other pilots followed her quietly. When they went to parking garage Heero stopped when he saw a bark blue Kawasaki Ninja 250R with a custom paintjob parked next to his bike. “Wow. Whom does that bike belong to?” Cleisis walked to the bike and opened up the seat to take out her jacket, gloves, and helmet. “It’s mine.” Heero walked around the bike looking at it from all sides. “Wow she is a beauty.” “Thanks. I just got her.” Cleisis got on the bike and took off. Duo looked at Heero. “Now that is hot.” Wufei grumbled and got into the car.

And so the spamming begins.

2009-01-19T03:07:12Z

I have become the thing I hated most.

Title:travel to Kagome's time (*SIGH*)

Perpetrator:alice fields

Series:Inu Yasha

Summary:when Miroku and Sango get into a fight she runs to Kagomes time. Miroku wants to apoligize but he can't find her. Will he find her? Will she forgive him? Mirsan 'Apoligize'? Wow, I don't have much hope.

Rating:TOXIC

Offences:this fic is one big hideous cliche...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. So Miroku and Sango have another fight but this time Sango decides to escape to Kagome's world. There's lots of bashing Miroku, and tired old series cliches. This plot is as old as the hills and isn't going anywhere close to interesting. We know that Miroku will go find Sango, apologize and then blah, blah, BLAH. I'm questioning how anyone could put write this and post it actually thinking it would be original. Granted with careful detailing and a new direction they could have pulled it off, but this fic is sketchy and contains a ton of cardboard characterization. In short, I'm not seeing a ton of effort staring back at me.

Notes:Go undergrad thesis hell!

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4801643/1/travel_to_Kagomes_time

Sample:

“Miroku you pervert!” Sango yelled.

“What?!”

“You were flirting with that girl over there!!”

“No I wasn’t!!”

“Yes you were!! I saw it! You asked her to bear your child!”

“You were Miroku.” Shippo said calmly.

“See!”

“If you have that little trust in me than maybe I should leave!” Miroku yelled.

“Don’t waste your time since I’m already going to do that!” Sango yelled as she stormed out the door.

“Idiot.” Shippo murmured.

It's the game that keeps on giving.

2009-01-18T04:38:09Z

Especially when you can be Alfred.

Title: introductionDescription (WTF?)

Perpetrator:mickeymouse111

Series:Fairy Tales

Summary:introduction/Description of my characters and Begining of my story please read to find out Get ready for a very crazy trip to badfic land.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:This really doesn't constitute a fic yet...not that it will be any better when it does. *HEADDESK*

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1. This author thought it would be an excellent idea to provide us with character descriptions and no actual story. *SIGH* Unless you have something substantial, I'd rather you not share your crappy vision with the internet. So what is this fail concept? Well, here we have four VERY wardrobe challenged girls who apparently go on some wacky adventures. Check it out:

Micky is wearing:

A pink and purple top,

A purple and Red Pair of Pants

A red and orange belt

And Yellow Dolly shoes

Blonde hair with purple streaks and a light green bobble

Did a rainbow vomit on you or something? Well actually it might have, since in the ficcer's profile it states that she's writing a story about rainbow fairies. There's also some stuff about a honeymoon in Egypt. WTF? Whatever you're smoking, please get it FAR away from me.

Notes:Bringing comics to work is a rather stupid move, especially when you have studying to do. *HEADDESK*

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4797912/1/introductionDescription

Sample:This is a little short and sparse for a sample so you're on your own folks.