Not even two hours of quality television is fixing this one.

Title: Truly His Countess (Except she very much isn't.)

Perpetrator:WithLoveWithCadence (And they've come back for more.)

Series:Hellsing

Summary:Elizabeth BAthory has come to Hellsing looking for work can the supposed Countess Dracula win the count's heart and truly become his countess? Rated T for future sexual content  Please...no.

Rating:NUCLEAR

Offences:oh look, another textblock, history slaughter, this plot will no doubt BLOW...

Blasphemy Breakdown:

1.  Once again we are confronted with a giant textblock because apparently this ficcer's enter key is buried somewhere in northern Siberia.  It just makes this fic more unpleasant and I must admit, automatically gets at least a few demerit points on the road to full blown badfic.  Seriously, it could be the best fic in the world and still would be annoying to read.

2.  So in this fic we have the Countess Elizabeth Bathory staring as our SUPER SPESHUL SUE!!11!  Here's a brief description:

The guards standing at the front gate of the Hellsing Manor looked up to see a woman in black skinny jeans, black leather boots, a dark blue halter top, and to top it all off a midnight blue, velvet coat (much like our favourite No-Life King’s coat) walk up. Her wavy, light brown hair fell loosely down her back.

This all seems to be like some vague Underworld rip off combined with Alucard's stolen coat.  *GAG*  Anyway, she's been called to the Hellsing mansion for some reason that I am sure will involve our favourite vampire and somehow winding up in his pants.  She'll get insta-trust and everyone will love her.  Wow, I'm pretty sure the real countess, and probably most of her 600 odd victims are spinning in their respective graves.  

3.  There's not much there, folks but I think it's still painfully easy to see what we have to look forward to.  A sue and Alucard plus some probably half assed attempt to mix in some history.  Zippidy do da.

Notes:I'm not in a very congenial mood.

Link:To read the whole fic go here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4385139/1/Truly_His_Countess

Sample: